Life as a Movie

Earlier this year, I read a book called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. It was written by Donald Miller, author of Blue Like Jazz. This was the first book that I've read by him, but I doubt it will be my last. The first thing I noticed appreciated about this book was his writing style. He writes with very concise, choppy sentences. Kind of like this. Or this. It's a style that you don't (or at least I don't) see frequently. Kind of reminded me of Steinbeck or Hemmingway. I love it.

Beyond my appreciation of his writing style, this book laid out an interesting perspective on life. The premise of the book is that our life is like a movie. We are the main character. Every movie has a storyline-a plot. Some stories are more entertaining than others. Some are full of excitement, while others are dull. But any good storyline has a climax and an anti-climax. And what really makes stories interesting is conflict. It can be conflicting ideologies, a lovers' quarrel, a misunderstanding, a war. Conflict is interwoven throughout the plot, creating varied interaction between characters. Conflict leads to the climax, which in turn, leads to a resolution. Without these elements, the storyline is boring.

Our lives are very much the same way. Miller paralleled conflict in a movie to conflict in our lives, and talked about conflict as an opportunity for growth. Conflict doesn't have to be an argument with our friend or fist fight. It can be an internal struggle, a mind game, conquering our fears, stepping out on that limb, even if we're afraid it might snap. When we settle for complacency and refuse to take those leaps of faith because we're afraid, our life is like a boring movie. No excitement, no conflict, no climax, and no resolution.

There are countless times in my life when I've been afraid to do something. Afraid of the unknown, afraid of under-thinking, afraid of over-thinking, afraid of change... I was afraid to go to college all the way across the country, but I did it, and I have grown in so many ways because of it. I was afraid to move back to Philly for a job, but I did it, and it's been an incredible experience. I've been afraid to let go of certain relationships, but I've done it, because I knew deep down inside that it was the right thing to do. My point: Not to tell you the story of my life via my fears, but to emphasize the importance of allowing conflict into your life, because conflict creates opportunities for growth. So the next time you face an obstacle in your life that is hindering you from being who you want to be or heading in the direction you want to go, woman (or man) up and face it head on. It might hurt a little bit, but it will be worth it!

Chivalry is Asleep

I went out to lunch with one of my guy friends several days ago, and the restaurant was crowded, so we were waiting to be seated. An older couple (in their late 70s or early 80s, I suspect) walked into the restaurant a couple minutes after us. My friend and I were sitting on the bench, and he immediately stood up so that the woman could have a seat. I then proceeded to stand up, so that the man could have a seat too. They both had canes, and I figured they would enjoy the comfy seats more than I would. As soon as I stood up, the old man told me to sit back down. Said he liked to stand. I hesitated, but he insisted. So I sat back down. He then jovially informed me that "Chivalry isn't dead; it's just asleep." What a relief! *Sigh. I have a weakness for old men who wear suspenders, bow ties and Velcro shoes.

The conversation continued. The old man pointed to his cane and said, "You probably think I got this cane from being a veteran of one of the World Wars. Well, I'm here to tell you that I got this cane from being an idiot in the parking lot." The woman pointed to her cane and said, "And I have a bad knee." They then proceeded to tell us about how they had both served in WWII (he was on active duty, she was a nurse), and he pulled a little card out of his pocket that had a picture of his wife receiving a special military veteran award. He proudly bragged a about her accomplishments, and vice a versa. We found out that they met at Villanova back in the 50s and have been smitten with each other ever since. So cute. After a few more minutes of conversing, they called our table, so we said goodbye.

Over lunch, I started thinking about what he said... about how chivalry is asleep. It's so true. Things aren't like they used to be. Guys don't treat girls with the same respect that they used to (broad generalization), and, frankly, girls don't demand it like they should. Having a guy open your door, walk on the edge of the sidewalk closer to traffic or pull off the road to help you change a tire aren't bad things. In fact, they should be expected. I think. I'm probably going to regret this paragraph immediately after publishing the post, since one of my upcoming posts is going to be about how much I love being independent and fully capable of taking care of myself. But, at this moment, I'm feeling like there's not enough chivalry in the world. So guys, step it up a notch. And girls, don't forget to thank your man for his chivalrous behavior. It's rare these days.