When I Was Your Age...

My grandma is a riot. She literally starts riots at family gatherings. Just kidding. She's an amazing woman, but she has her fair share of idiosyncrasies. More than her fair share, some would argue. They are a constant source of both humor and frustration, as we (cousins) learn to navigate and avert her well-intentioned, but nevertheless awkward behavior and comments.

Some context for this story: I have a relatively large extended family, with 15 cousins (including my 3 siblings and I) on my mom's side of the family. Eleven of us are in our 20s, which apparently makes us eligible for marriage. About half of us are in or have been in serious relationships, but none of us are married. I think it's interesting and slightly funny. My grandmother, on the other hand, thinks it's disconcerting. At nearly every family gathering we have ever had, she has mentioned to at least one of us female cousins that by the time she was our age, she was married, had 3 children, and was in grad school. Depending on which cousin she's talking to and how old they are, the story ranges from between 3-5 kids. It that supposed to be incentive for us to hurry things along? Because it's not. In fact, that scenario sounds terrible. If I was married with three children and in grad school, I'd also be either (1) in a nuthouse, (2) in a coffin from sheer exhaustion or (3) miserable. 

You see, things are very different now than they were when my grandmother (and even mother) were younger. Women have more options. They have more freedoms. It's no longer the norm to get married right out of high school and start popping kids out right away. Most women go to college, and some get their masters or PhD after that. Did you know that the average age for women to get married in America (according to a 2009 report) is 26 1/2, as opposed to 20 in 1950? Why do you think that is? I suspect it's because women realized that there's more to life than being a housewife and mother. NOT that there is anything wrong with that. Almost all women end up becoming mothers. But, the time line looks a little bit different these days.

I'm perfectly ok with that. In fact, I'm ecstatic about it. It's such a relief to not have societal pressures influencing the direction of my life, especially as a woman. I love the fact that I have the freedom to take my time and live life in whatever way and at whatever pace I want. I didn't get married when I was 18, and I didn't even get married right out of college. And I'm really thankful for that. It would have been a mistake. I have had time to enjoy being me and doing things that I want to do. Grad school is on the agenda, but certainly not with three infants. And marriage... well, what girl doesn't want to get married at some point? But for now, I'm taking my sweet time and enjoying life. Do I want the same things my grandmother wanted 50 years ago? Yes (minus 5 children). I just want them at a different pace. So grandma, if you're looking for great grandchildren in the next few years, you'll have to look elsewhere.

Love,
Me

Kid on a Leash

So I decided to go on an adventure to Valley Forge this weekend, and as I was walking around, I saw a situation that made me chuckle. There was a typical American family- the dad, the mom, the child and the dog. I could tell they were from Boston by their accents. Nothing too abnormal about that. But then I took a second look, and I discovered that the dad was walking the dog, and the mom was walking the kid. Both on leashes. Hilarious! Of course this isn't the first time that I've seen a child on a leash, but I have to laugh out loud every time I have the pleasure of experiencing this phenomenon. I understand the reasoning behind the decision to put your kid on a leash, but I certainly don't agree with it. If you can't control your child enough to have them walk next to you, then there's either something wrong with your child or something wrong with your parenting skills. Children need to learn self-restraint rather than being physically restrained like a dog. Funny? Yes. But not something I will do if I ever have children.

Children vs. Pets

Parents often say that children are the best thing that ever happened to them, but I find that hard to believe. Children are annoying. Period. Yes, they can be cute if you dress them up in Halloween costumes or put pretty pink bows in their hair, but that warm and bubbly feeling you get from watching a baby giggle is quite transient. It soon dissipates when you realize what a terror they really are. They cry and scream when they don't get what they want, they get into as much trouble as possible, and they often refuse to obey you. The worst part is, when they're your kids, you can't get rid of them. Your stuck with them FOREVER! For these reasons, I am of the opinion that pets are a far more appropriate alternative unless you wish to enter a permanent state of responsibility, chaos, exhaustion, etc. Now I know I may be expressing my opinion in an extreme manner, but in an effort to be as unbiased as possible, I have created a list of pros and cons for both children and pets.


Children
Pros:

• Pass on the family name
• Can bring great joy and happiness to a couple
• Get to create a mini you
• Provide entertainment when your husband is boring
• Give you a real purpose if you feel you're lacking in that area
  

Cons:

• 9 months of misery
• Approximately 5-10 hours of extreme misery
• The end of your life as you know it
  
• They cry all the time
• Get into trouble on regular basis
• Have to change WAY too many diapers
  
• Need to hire a babysitter if you want to go out
• 24/7/365 job for 18 years, in some cases much longer
• Have to choose between career and motherhood
• VERY EXPENSIVE
• If they grow up to be screw ups, it's your fault
  

Pets
Pros:

• They're VERY cute
• Keep you company if you're lonely
• They don't talk much
• Usually easy maintenance
• Typically fairly inexpensive to care for
• Only need to hire babysitter when you leave town
  

Cons:

• They can be messy
• Have to train them to behave
• Can't really have good convo with them, even when they "grow up"
• Have to clean up their crap

What I have found is that the cons outweigh the pros when it comes to children, and the pros outweigh the cons when it comes to pets. Therefore, pets appear to be the obvious of the two choices.

* This argument is based on my current feeling towards children. However, I reserve the right to alter my view at any point in time.