My grandma is a riot. She literally starts riots at family gatherings. Just kidding. She's an amazing woman, but she has her fair share of idiosyncrasies. More than her fair share, some would argue. They are a constant source of both humor and frustration, as we (cousins) learn to navigate and avert her well-intentioned, but nevertheless awkward behavior and comments.
Some context for this story: I have a relatively large extended family, with 15 cousins (including my 3 siblings and I) on my mom's side of the family. Eleven of us are in our 20s, which apparently makes us eligible for marriage. About half of us are in or have been in serious relationships, but none of us are married. I think it's interesting and slightly funny. My grandmother, on the other hand, thinks it's disconcerting. At nearly every family gathering we have ever had, she has mentioned to at least one of us female cousins that by the time she was our age, she was married, had 3 children, and was in grad school. Depending on which cousin she's talking to and how old they are, the story ranges from between 3-5 kids. It that supposed to be incentive for us to hurry things along? Because it's not. In fact, that scenario sounds terrible. If I was married with three children and in grad school, I'd also be either (1) in a nuthouse, (2) in a coffin from sheer exhaustion or (3) miserable.
You see, things are very different now than they were when my grandmother (and even mother) were younger. Women have more options. They have more freedoms. It's no longer the norm to get married right out of high school and start popping kids out right away. Most women go to college, and some get their masters or PhD after that. Did you know that the average age for women to get married in America (according to a 2009 report) is 26 1/2, as opposed to 20 in 1950? Why do you think that is? I suspect it's because women realized that there's more to life than being a housewife and mother. NOT that there is anything wrong with that. Almost all women end up becoming mothers. But, the time line looks a little bit different these days.
I'm perfectly ok with that. In fact, I'm ecstatic about it. It's such a relief to not have societal pressures influencing the direction of my life, especially as a woman. I love the fact that I have the freedom to take my time and live life in whatever way and at whatever pace I want. I didn't get married when I was 18, and I didn't even get married right out of college. And I'm really thankful for that. It would have been a mistake. I have had time to enjoy being me and doing things that I want to do. Grad school is on the agenda, but certainly not with three infants. And marriage... well, what girl doesn't want to get married at some point? But for now, I'm taking my sweet time and enjoying life. Do I want the same things my grandmother wanted 50 years ago? Yes (minus 5 children). I just want them at a different pace. So grandma, if you're looking for great grandchildren in the next few years, you'll have to look elsewhere.
Love,
Me
