If you ever get asked to have coffee with a guy from Kashmir and you consider saying yes because he seems nice and you wouldn't mind some human interaction, you should probably reconsider. If you do say yes, there's a chance the following will occur:
He may suggest dinner instead of coffee the day before you plan to go, and then proceed to send you a list of restaurants to choose from.
When you tell your friends about the upcoming outing, they may joke about the fact that he's looking for a wife and is probably planning to propose during dinner by presenting you with an armful of gold bangles and a goat.
When you tell your mom about it, she may respond by warning you to be careful because men from Kashmir have a reputation for kidnapping women.
You may role your eyes and laugh.
When you tell him that you'll meet him at the restaurant, he may insist on picking you up from your place. When he does--contrary to your belief that he will take public transportation to pick you up and that you will take public transportation together to the restaurant--he may pick you up in a private vehicle driven by his personal driver.
When this happens, you may feel uncomfortable and think that your decision to have coffee was a big mistake.
When you arrive at the restaurant, he may take control of ordering and decide that you will share whatever appetizers and main courses that you order.
You may be ok with this, since sharing means more food tasting for you, but also annoyed since you're an independent woman (thanks to Destiny's Child) and like to order on your own.
Dinner conversation may be extremely awkward and forced, and he may try several times to convince you to move to the Middle East because of all the job opportunities there. He may also suggest that you see each other every week until your academic program ends and tell you which restaurant you will go to next time.
When you tell him that you're very busy and are going to London later in the week to meet a friend, he may inform you that he's also going to London later in the week and that he would be more than happy to put you up in a hotel.
You may consider it for a millisecond before reclaiming your senses and telling him thanks, but no thanks.
He may thank you profusely for having dinner with him and tell you that this is the best weekend he's had in Manchester since he arrived. You may feel slightly guilty, since the feelings are in no way reciprocated.
His driver may be 45 minutes late picking you up, prolonging the awkward conversation.
On the way home, the driver may take a route you are unfamiliar with, raising your levels of anxiety and ringing alarms about your mom's previous kidnapping warning.
When you finally get dropped off, you may be super relieved, grateful that you walked away without any gold bangles, and determined not to say yes to coffee with a guy from Kashmir again. At least not that one.
