Parents often say that children are the best thing that ever happened to them, but I find that hard to believe. Children are annoying. Period. Yes, they can be cute if you dress them up in Halloween costumes or put pretty pink bows in their hair, but that warm and bubbly feeling you get from watching a baby giggle is quite transient. It soon dissipates when you realize what a terror they really are. They cry and scream when they don't get what they want, they get into as much trouble as possible, and they often refuse to obey you. The worst part is, when they're your kids, you can't get rid of them. Your stuck with them FOREVER! For these reasons, I am of the opinion that pets are a far more appropriate alternative unless you wish to enter a permanent state of responsibility, chaos, exhaustion, etc. Now I know I may be expressing my opinion in an extreme manner, but in an effort to be as unbiased as possible, I have created a list of pros and cons for both children and pets.
Children
Pros:
- Pass on the family name
- Can bring great joy and happiness to a couple
- Get to create a mini you
- Provide entertainment when your husband is boring
- Give you a real purpose if you feel you're lacking in that area
Cons:
- 9 months of misery
- Approximately 5-10 hours of extreme misery
- The end of your life as you know it
- They cry all the time
- Get into trouble on regular basis
- Have to change WAY too many diapers
- Need to hire a babysitter if you want to go out
- 24/7/365 job for 18 years, in some cases much longer
- Have to choose between career and motherhood
- VERY EXPENSIVE
- If they grow up to be screw ups, it's your fault
Pets
Pros:
- They're VERY cute
- Keep you company if you're lonely
- They don't talk much
- Usually easy maintenance
- Typically fairly inexpensive to care for
- Only need to hire babysitter when you leave town
Cons:
- They can be messy
- Have to train them to behave
- Can't really have good convo with them, even when they "grow up"
- Have to clean up their crap
What I have found is that the cons outweigh the pros when it comes to children, and the pros outweigh the cons when it comes to pets. Therefore, pets appear to be the obvious of the two choices.
* This argument is based on my current feeling towards children. However, I reserve the right to alter my view at any point in time.
I have amazing conversations with Fred.
ReplyDeleteHaha. Charlie and Brownie are great at keeping me company. Unfortunately, they both have really bad breath.
ReplyDeleteAnother thought. When pets (we'll assume large dogs because they're the best!) eat small household objects, one of two things happens:
ReplyDelete1.) You don't realize anything's missing
2.) They poop out the evidence a day later, and you and your neighbors have the privilege of witnessing said dog pinching a limited edition Crayola loaf. Let's be honest, when that happens, it's hilarious. No harm done.
When babies/children consume small household objects, concerned parents spend the next 36 or so hours giving tummy rubs, having X-rays taken, pouring prune juice cocktails, and dissecting baby turd as if it contained treasures from ages past.