What I'm NOT Looking for in a Guy

It seems to be a common occurrence for single ladies to make a list of what they're looking for in a guy. It may only be a mental list, but the list still exists. Makes sense. I think it's extremely important to know what you want beforehand. In my experience, this aids in the whole "shopping" process. I have a list, and in fact, it's a rather lengthy one. It started out as general ideas, but over the years, I've amended, restructured, and re-prioritized my list. As I get older, I realize that I don't want the same things in a guy that I did 5 years ago, and I'm sure I'll feel the same way 5 years from now. Rather than make a list of "Mr. Perfect," who, by the way, DOES NOT EXIST (this is a topic for another blog post), I decided to make a list of some of the things that I definitely do not want in a guy. Here goes.

What I'm not looking for in a guy:

A boy
Let me begin this list by saying that as I progress along in my 20s (I know I'm only 23, but that's a lot older than 19), I have realized more and more that guys do not seem to progress in maturity the way girls do. Stereotype? Yes. Reality? In most cases. As my interests have evolved from weekend mall shopping trips to dinner and a glass of wine with friends, I have found that many guys are still interested in the equivalent of the shopping trip. This brings me to the next thing on my list, which is:

A boy who loves video games
If your idea of a good time is sitting in front of the television and living in a virtual world for hours upon end, then you have some growing up to do, and I'm really not interested in your company. What boggles my mind is that so many guys spend countless hours playing sports with their thumbs, when they are fully capable of engaging in healthy physical activities in real life. Even worse than the sports are the fantasy worlds in which wizards fight dragons and communicate in unintelligible languages. Really? I mean, really? If you invested as much time in reality as you do in fantasy land, you'd probably be a decent date. But for now, I'll pass.

A boy who loves video games and lives at home
Let me preface this statement by saying that I totally understand when situations do now allow for financial independence, and the smart thing to do is to live at home until you can afford to move out. Absolutely fine. However, there comes a time when enough is enough. So you're 26 and your mom still does your laundry. Cute. Oh, and she makes you and your friends snacks when they come over to play video games? Gag me. The issue with this scenario is complacency and inability/refusal to strive for something more. If you tell me that you still live at home, you better show me a 10-step action plan for how you are working your way to maturity and independence.

A boy who loves video games, lives at home and is into himself
One of the things that most repulses me about a guy is when he's into himself. I don't care if you're the most attractive guy in the world. Conceit is never flattering. There's a huge difference between having healthy self-confidence and being arrogant. One is attractive, the other is not. And you can always tell who these guys are. They're the ones who walk around with their Polo shirt collars popped and their Armani shades resting on the bridge of their nose. They have this air about them that screams "Check me out. I'm cool." Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but not only am I unimpressed with your not-so-subtle tactics, but your arrogance will be the topic of my jokes for the day.

A boy who loves video games, lives at home, is into himself and doesn't dress well
If you meet all of these criteria, you're a real winner! In my opinion, one of the signs of maturity, responsibility and success is learning how to dress yourself appropriately, no matter the occasion. I'm not asking you to spend thousands of dollars on a wardrobe. What I am asking is for you not to wear pajamas out in public. Ever. And if I catch you wearing the same outfit three days in a row, that's a no go. My favorite is having multiple pairs of the same pants and wearing them every single day. Seriously? Are you so unimaginative that you can't have any variance in color or style? That's boring and makes you look like a slob who lacks in self-esteem. Brutal, but honest. So, wear grungy jeans and an old t-shirt when you're changing the oil, but not when you're going out. I'm not advocating tuxes on a daily basis, but I think it's important to consider your environment and audience when dressing yourself in the morning.

So, I'm sure there are plenty of other things that I could add to this list, but it's getting late and you're probably tired of reading this novel. This is simply something that I've been thinking about as of late and thought I'd share. Guys (if there are any guys who actually take the time to get through this), sorry if it was a bit harsh. It was unintentional (mostly), and if you found yourself associating with my list, use this as constructive criticism and "man up!"